AT - TALAAQ OR DIVORCE

Islam places a lot of emphasis on marriage in the sense that it is a sacred and solemn contract that cannot be broken for trivial and insignificant reasons. Although the Talaaq (divorce) is permissible, it must be taken into consideration that of all permissible things, Talaaq (divorce) is the most hated and abhorred thing by Allah, and it is permissible, moreover, only to the extent that it does not involve any unjust harm. One must not in any way have recourse to some slate as a pretext for divorce.

It may be that the husband does not like a certain way of acting of his wife and is tired of her. This is not reason enough to justify his request for divorce (Talaaq). He should not consider only the negative side but on the contrary, he should evaluate the good qualities, which can well be superior to the shortcomings. A separation can also have a detrimental effect on the behaviour of the children (if there are any) who can easily fall prey to Shaitan.

"And live with them in kindness (treating them well). If you dislike (anything in) them, then (be tolerant because) perhaps you dislike something whereas Allah Ta'ala places abundant good in it." (4:19)

This verse clearly delimits the framework of marital status in Islam, in regards to the extent of the obligations of each party towards the other. We can also understand from this verse that love alone does not justify the continuity of the marriage contract? Is there not benevolence and fidelity that must also be taken into consideration by the couple?

Marriage is by no means an institution built on a strand of hair that can be broken at any time, either by a sudden argument, an excess of anger, a temporary quarrel, or a lack of understanding on the part of both spouses. However, it is a contract that must be respected and honoured until the end. Although marriage is dissolvable, Talaaq (Divorce) is permitted only in extremely difficult cases where life becomes truly bitter and relationships unbearable. Under no circumstances should the husband quickly become an object of displeasure for his wife. If one of her qualities does not please him, the other may well please him. That is, a woman is not bad in every way, there are more or less virtues in her. The Talaaq cannot be pronounced merely for a trivial matter because no one is perfect.

In the case of disagreement, it is not the idea of Talaaq (divorce) that should prevail but on the contrary the idea of saving the marriage to weld it together. First of all, we must find all possible chances to reconcile. And Islam offers us different ways:

The idea of lecturing one's wife, seeking the advice of others, finding an arbitrator or convening a family reunion are means that are highly encouraged by Islam.

"If you fear that the couple may separate, then appoint a mediator from his family and a mediator from her family. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah Ta'ala will create unity between the couple. Verily Allah Ta'ala is All Knowing, Informed." (4:35)

However, consultation (Shura) is one of the effective means that Allah exhorts the husband to resort to in case of disagreement.

The Qur'an emphasizes that husband and wife must submit their quarrels to arbitration before resorting to Talaaq (divorce).

Is it not right to say that many parents today neglect this great divine counsel by asking their sons to cut all ties at the beginning of the dispute? There are even some who do not consider whether the woman is in a state of purity or not, and just pronounce the Talaaq against the Islamic precepts.

Nafi relates that in the time of the Messenger of Allah (Sallallaahu A'laihi Wasallam), Hadhrat Abdullah bin Umar (Radiyallahu anhuma) divorced his wife during her menstruation. Hadhrat Umar bin Al-Khattaab (Radiyallahu anhu) asked the Messenger of Allah (Sallallaahu A'laihi Wasallam) about this, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu A'laihi Wasallam) replied: 

"Command him to take her back and keep her until her period comes, then its cessation, then the next period, after which he shall keep her if he wills, or divorce her, if he pleases, but let it be before he touches her. This is the retreat that Allah has imposed on those who divorce their wives." (Bukhari)

Therefore, if the husband acts against the divine regulations, he is the only one to be blamed. It should be noted that the Talaaq is always valid even if it is pronounced when the woman is in her period.

Allah in all His Mercy exhorts the husband to allow himself time for mature and sincere reflection and gives him a lot of time before making the final decision to separate (such an advantage should not be neglected in any way). It is for this reason that Allah leaves the path of reconciliation open for a period of three menstruations after the pronunciation of the first Talaaq. Since the time of the Sahaabah, a single Talaaq pronounced when the woman is in her period of cleanliness without having had any intercourse is the best. Although the Shari'ah gives us so much advantage, many men today do not conform to this rule and proceed to triple repudiation, i.e., to pronounce the three Talaaqs at once and make it irrevocable at once. (Are they not abusing this favour of Allah?) However, a single Talaaq which is permitted and accepted by the Shari'ah can achieve the same goal without having to commit any forbidden act. It is not right to close the door of reconciliation in only one  hit, while Allah gives us the ease of having recourse to a Talaaq (which is in the advantage of the couple).

It should be noted that if the husband has uttered one or two Talaaqs and the period of three menstruations has passed without him having pronounced the third Talaaq, the nikah (marriage) is broken. But if they agree to reconcile and live together again, they have the right to do so after renewing their marriage. Whereas if the three Talaaqs are pronounced all at once, the husband is not allowed to take back his wife unless Halaala is practiced.

However, the Talaaq should not be pronounced hastily or unwisely, but on the contrary, the Islamic precepts attached to it should be taken into consideration.

AHAADITH

Hadhrat Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (Radiyallahu anhu) reported that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu A'laihi Wasallam) said:

"Have good feelings towards women, because woman was created from one rib, and the curved part of the rib is the top. If you try to straighten it, you will break it, if you don't touch it, it will not stop being bent. Therefore have good feelings towards them." (Bukhari) 

[English version of "At-Talaaq ou le divorce" – Al Haadi – Vol. 1 No. 2]