"Dating" before Nikah

Q. Is it permissible to "date" before Nikah?

A. The practice of "dating" is clearly haram and is categorically forbidden, as everything that occurs between the two parties concerned has been described as Zina by Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam).

In the light of the Shari'ah, before Nikah, the boy and girl are considered strangers to one another. A male stranger is not permitted to remain alone with a female stranger (ghair-mahram).

According to a Hadith of Tirmizi Sharif, reported by Hadhrat Umar (Radiyallaahu anhu), Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"Never can a man remain alone with a woman without shaitaan being in their company."

According to a Hadith of Bukhari Sharif and Muslim Sharif, Hadhrat Abdullah bin Abbaas (Radiyallaahu anhuma) reported that Nabi-e-Karim (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"None of you should remain alone with a woman except if he is a mahram."

According to Tabrani, Hadhrat Abdullah bin Abbaas (Radiyallaahu anhuma) reported that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"He who has faith in Allah and the Day of Judgement should not remain alone with a woman with whom he does not have a mahram relationship."

Zina, or adultery, is not limited to a specific act. According to Nabi-e-Karim (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam), all the organs of a person can commit Zina. According to a Hadith mentioned by Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud and Nasai, and reported by Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radiyallaahu anhu), Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"The share of zina that the son of Adam will commit has been written down without doubt. The zina of the eyes is the gaze; the zina of the ears is the hearing; the zina of the tongue is the speech; the zina of the hands is the touch; the zina of the feet is the walking."

According to another Hadith of Muslim, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"The two hands commit adultery—the zina of the hand is touching. The feet commit adultery—the zina of the foot is walking. The mouth commits adultery—the zina of the mouth is kissing."

It should be noted that all these actions are considered zina when they involve individuals who are not bound by the bond of Nikah.

In a Hadith Qudsi narrated by Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mas'ud (Radiyallaahu anhuma) in Tabrani, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) reports that Allah Ta'ala said:

"The (evil) gaze is a poisoned arrow from among the arrows of Iblis—whoever refrains (from looking at haram things) out of fear for Me, I will grant him an imaan the sweetness of which he will feel in his heart."

All these actions that have been categorically condemned in the above Ahaadith are included in what is commonly known today as "dating". This is so evident that parents often feel compelled to notify the "fiances" before entering the room, thus giving them the chance to appear presentable and saving themselves from witnessing indecent postures. Such parents act as dayyus by allowing the practice of zina to take place in their own homes, with their knowledge and consent.

Certainly, the practice of "dating" is highly condemnable, unquestionably haram, and a clear sign of baseness and lack of modesty.

May Allah protect us from shaitaan. Ameen.

[English version of '"Fréquenter" avant le Nikah' – Al Haadi – Vol. 2 No. 9,10]