SOME ETIQUETTES

The Prophet of Islam, Hadhrat Muhammad (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam), said:

"Five duties are incumbent upon a Muslim towards his Muslim brother, namely:

1) To respond to his Salaam,

2) To visit him when he is sick,

3) To follow his funeral procession (Janaazah) when he dies,

4) To respond to his invitation, and

5) To reply to him when he sneezes."

COMMENTARY:

The life of a Muslim is more sacred to another Muslim than even the Ka'bah, as stated in a Hadith of Tirmidhi. Hadhrat Abdullah bin 'Umar (radiyallahu anhuma), addressing the Ka'bah, said:

"The Mu’min is more sacred than you in the sight of Allah Ta'ala."

Thus, every Muslim must be careful not to violate the rights and respect due to their Muslim brother or sister. Fulfilling the rights of a Muslim is an act of piety; however, one should do so solely for the pleasure of Allah Ta'ala.

Here are some of these rights:

1. GREETING – AS-SALAAM

In verse 86 of Chapter 4, Allah Ta'ala advises us:

"When you are greeted with a greeting, then reply with a better greeting, or return (the same greeting). Most surely, Allah Ta'ala takes account of everything."

In a Hadith from Muslim Sharif, Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiyallahu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"You will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe (have Imaan) until you love one another. Shall I not guide you to something? If you do it, you will love one another. Spread the greeting (as-salaam) among yourselves."

"Salaam" is one of the special names and attributes of Allah Ta'ala. Thus, when a Muslim greets another with the phrase "Assalaamu Alaikum", they are making a du'a (prayer) for the latter: "May the peace and protection of Allah be upon you."Moreover, since salaam is one of the names of Allah, greeting is not just a means of contact or a way of showing affection towards others; it is more than that – it is an act of Ibaadah and a zikr (remembrance) of Allah. Spreading salaam is an effective way to remember Allah Subhaanahu wa Ta'ala. It is also a way of assuring one's fellow man that they will not be harmed in terms of honour, life, or wealth.

THE FORMULA OF GREETING

When a Muslim meets another Muslim, he should greet him immediately — without waiting for the other person to initiate the greeting — using the formula:

"Assalaamu Alaikum"

(May the peace of Allah be upon you.)

However, it is preferable to add:

"Wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu"

(May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you.)

The recipient of the greeting must respond as follows:

"Wa Alaikumus-Salaam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuhu"

(And may the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you too.)

It is important to understand that greeting first is a Sunnah Mu'akkadah (a strongly emphasised practice of the Prophet [Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam]), while responding to it is Waajib (obligatory). Moreover, the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) forbade the use of the formula "Alaikas-Salaam", as this is reserved for the deceased.

VIRTUES OF GREETING

In a Hadith narrated by Abu Dawud, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"He who propagates salaam (i.e., greets first) is closer to Allah Ta'ala."

In another Hadith reported by Baihaqi, the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"He who greets first is free from pride."

Hadhrat Abdullah Bin 'Umar (radiyallahu anhuma) used to intentionally visit the market and greet every Muslim, whether he knew them or not, in order to earn rewards. (Mu'atta Imam Malik)

This noble practice of Hadhrat Ibn 'Umar (radiyallahu anhuma) highlights the great value of greeting others. This is why, in another Hadith, the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"The greeting (As-Salaam) has been sent by Allah as a goodness for mankind, so propagate it widely among yourselves."

WHO SHOULD GREET FIRST

a) The rider (whether on a horse, bicycle, car, etc.) should greet the pedestrian.

b) The person on foot should greet the one who is sitting.

c) The smaller group should greet the larger group.

d) The youngest should greet the oldest. However, the oldest may greet the younger person first, in order to encourage them to spread.

EXCEPTIONS

It is Makruh (abominable) to greet someone who is:

a) Performing Salah

b) Reciting the Qur'an

c) Engaged in Zikr

d) Making Du'a

e) Explaining matters related to Deen

f) Engaged in conversation with someone, in order not to disturb him

g) Reciting the Khutbah

h) Calling to prayer (i.e., giving the Azaan)

i) Committing sins in public

j) Exposing the satr (body parts that must be covered)

k) Sitting to render a judgment (e.g., a Qaazi in office)

l) Answering the call of nature

m) Listening to the Khutbah, the Ta'lim, or the Tilawat-ul-Qur'an

n) Engaged in learning the Deen

Additionally, it is also Makruh to greet:

(i) A non-Muslim woman with the formula "As-Salaamu 'Alaikum",

(ii) Young girls and female strangers.

Since it is Makruh to greet someone engaged in any of the above-mentioned activities, it is not obligatory (Waajib) for the recipient of the greeting to respond in these circumstances.

However, if one greets a fasiq (a sinful person), it is Wajib (obligatory) for him to respond to the greeting. As for the greetings of young girls or female strangers, one may respond to them provided there is no fear of fitnah (temptation or disorder).

2. VISITING THE SICK

Visiting a Muslim who is ill holds immense value in the sight of Allah Ta'ala and brings great rewards, as evidenced by the following Ahaadith:

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"Verily, he who visits a sick person is like one who walks in an orchard in Paradise until he returns (to his home)."

"When a Muslim visits another Muslim who is sick in the morning, seventy thousand (70,000) angels pray for him until the evening, and when he visits him in the evening, seventy thousand angels pray for him until the morning." (Tirmizi)

"On the Day of Qiyamah, Allah Ta'ala will say: 'O Insaan (human)! I was sick, but you did not visit Me.' To this, it will be answered:

'O my Master! How could I visit You when You are the Master of all worlds?' Allah Ta'ala will reply:

'Did you not know that so-and-so of My servants was sick, yet you did not visit him? Did you not know that had you visited him, you would have found Me by his side?'"

SOME ADVICE TO FOLLOW WHEN VISITING THE SICK

1) Place your hand on the sick person's hand or forehead and inquire about his health. This is a practice of the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam).
Warning: It is forbidden to touch a Ghair Mahram (someone of the opposite sex with whom marriage is possible).

2) Do not stay for too long with the sick person.
The Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"The best iyaadah (visiting the sick) is to stay with the sick person for a short time."

3) Recite one of the following Duas (or all of them):

Surah Fatiha (Alhamdulillaahil Rabbil 'Aalameen...)

Hadhrat 'Abdul Malik Bin Umar (Radiyallahu anhu) reports that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"In the Faatihat-ul-Kitaab (Surah Fatiha), there is a cure for every illness."

(Daarimi and Baihaqi‎‎)

اَللّٰهُمَّ ربَّ النَّاسِ، أَذْهِب الْبَأسَ، واشْفِ، أَنْتَ الشَّافِيْ

لاَ شِفَاءَ إِلاَّ شِفَاؤُكَ، شِفَاءً لاَ يُغَادِرُ سَقَمًا

O Allah, Remove the harm, O Lord of mankind. Heal him, for You are the Healer and there is no healing except Your healing, such a healing which does not leave any disease behind. (Bukhari)

a. I ask Allah, the Glorious, Lord of the Great Throne to heal you and grant you a good recovery. (Tirmizi)

أَسْأَلُ اللّٰهَ الْعَظِيْمَ رَبَّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيْمِ أَنْ يَشْفِيَكَ

I ask Almighty Allah, Lord of the Glorious Throne, to make you well

b. Do not despair ! It is a purification if Allah wills.

لَابَاْسَ طَهُوْرٌ اِنْ شَاءَ اللّٰه ُ

Do not despair. It is a cleansing (from sins) if Allah wills

For a Muslim, every illness is a Kaffaarah (a means of redemption for sins) and a means of attaining a higher rank in the Hereafter. Thus, one must bear illness with patience, knowing it is an opportunity for purification.

3. FOLLOWING THE FUNERAL PROCESSION

When a Muslim dies, it is our duty to participate in his Salat-ul-Janaazah (funeral prayer) and, if possible, to follow the funeral procession and attend the burial.

In a Hadith of Bukhari, the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"He who follows a funeral procession of a Muslim — with full confidence in Allah Ta'ala and in the hope of reward — up to the place of Salah, then performs the Salah and attends the burial, will be rewarded with two Qiraat. A Qiraat is like Mount 'Uhud. The one who performs the Salat-ul-Janaazah but does not attend the funeral will receive only one Qiraat."

4. RESPONDING TO THE INVITATION

Responding to the invitation of a Muslim brother is a Sunnah, provided that nothing violates the teachings of Islam. For example:

a) If the host's income is Haram,

b) If the invitation is made to gain honour or status in this world,

c) If the invitation is extended only to the wealthy,

d) If there is no purdah— i.e., a mixed gathering where men and women mingle,

e) If there are things forbidden in Islam, such as alcohol, music, songs, and dancing.

In these cases, it is Haram (forbidden) to respond to the invitation, except in the situation where the individual believes they can stop such activities. In that case, responding to the invitation with the intention to put an end to those activities is acceptable.

Allah Ta'ala says in verse 68 of Surah 6:

"..Do not sit with the unjust people."

And in verse 113 of Surah 11, Allah Ta'ala warns us:

"And do not incline towards those who do wrong for then the Fire shall reach you..."

In the absence of Haram activities, one should not fail to respond to the invitation, whether the host is rich or poor, as this is an act of honouring one's brother, which leads to divine reward.

To refuse the invitation of a poor person is to vex them and is a mark of vanity. The following incident should be a matter of reflection:

Hadhrat Hasan Bin 'Ali (Radiyallahu anhu), the grandson of the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam), once passed by a group of poor people eating crusts of bread on the ground.

They called to him, "Son of the Prophet, come and eat with us!"

He replied, "With pleasure. Allah hates arrogant and proud people."

He then dismounted his mule and shared the meal with them.

If one receives two invitations for the same day, one should respond to the first invitation and politely excuse oneself from the second.

5. RESPONDING TO THE ONE WHO SNEEZES

In a Hadith of Bukhari, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"Allah Ta'ala loves sneezing. When one of you sneezes and praises Allah by saying 'Alhamdulillah', it is Wajib for every Muslim who hears it to respond to him."
However, if the person does not say "Alhamdulillah" after sneezing, then responding is not Wajib."

The word "tashmit" in the Hadith refers to making a Du'a of blessing for the one who sneezes, as follows:

"Yarhamukallah" (May Allah have mercy upon you).

Once, someone sneezed in the presence of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam), but the Prophet did not respond. When asked why, he replied:

"Because he did not say 'Alhamdulillah' after sneezing."

Allaamah Ibn Aa'bideen (Rahimahullah) stated:

"Sneezing is a favour from Allah Ta'ala. Therefore, anyone who does not praise Allah for this favour after sneezing does not deserve to be given the Du'a of blessing."

When a person sneezes multiple times in a row and praises Allah, it is Wajib to respond to him only for the first three sneezes. After that, one has the choice to respond or not. However, it is better to continue responding, even if it is not Wajib.

According to a Hadith of Abu Dawud, Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radiyallahu anhu) reported:

"Do the 'tashmit' for your brother three times. If he continues to sneeze, then it is 'zukaam' (cold)."

THE WAY OF SNEEZING

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (Radiyallahu anhu) said:

"When the Prophet (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) sneezed, he would place his hand or a piece of his garment over his mouth to suppress the sound."

DUA AFTER SNEEZING AND TASHMIT

When a Muslim sneezes, he should say: "Alhamdulillah" (Praise be to Allah).

The people present should respond: "Yarhamukallah" (May Allah have mercy on you).

The one who sneezed should then respond: "Yahdikumullah wa yuslihu Baalakum" (May Allah guide you to the right path and improve your situation) or "Yarhamunallahwa iyyaakum wa yaghfirullahu lana wa lakum" (May Allah have mercy on us all and forgive us and you).

In a Hadith, Hadhrat 'Ali (Radiyallahu anhu) reports:

"Whoever says: 'Alhamdulillahi Rabbil 'Aalameen 'alaa kulli haal' whenever he sneezes, he will never experience pain in his teeth or ears."* (Aini)

May Allah Ta'ala grant us all the Taufeeq (ability) to implement this practice. Ameen.

[English version of "Étiquettes concernant la salutation, visiter les malades, suivre le cortège funèbre, répondre a l'invitation et présenter des souhaits à celui qui éternue" – Al Haadi – Vol. 2 No. 9,10]