NIKAH

"Nikah" literally means an intimate relationship between a couple. According to the Shari'ah, Nikah is a contract between two parties of opposite sexes, granting them the right to intimate enjoyment (istimta) through the processes of "Ijaab" and "Qabul." The Ijaab (proposal) is the formula pronounced by one party to express the offer, and the Qabul (acceptance) is the response that accepts the proposal.

The Ijaab and the Qabul are only valid when both the proposal and the acceptance are pronounced during a single session in the presence of two witnesses.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said in this regard:

"Those who marry without a witness are the women of bad reputation."

According to the Shari'ah, a minimum of two witnesses is required. These two persons must be Muslims, of sound mind, and of legal age. Hadhrat Abdullah Bin Abbaas (Radiyallahu anhu) said:

"At least four persons are required in a Nikah: a proxy (Wakil) representing the bride, the groom, and two witnesses."

THE MAHR OR DOWRY

The Mahr is a gift from the husband to the wife, which becomes obligatory with the Nikah contract.

"Give women their dowries with a good heart…" (4:4)

The Mahr is closely linked to the Nikah to the point that if it is not explicitly mentioned during the marriage contract, it becomes de facto obligatory. This indicates that the mention of the Mahr at the time of the Nikah is not an absolute condition for its validity. In other words, the Mahr is Wajib even if it is not specifically stated. Therefore, the Nikah remains valid even without the mention of the Mahr. Allah Ta'ala says in the Qur'an:

"There is no sin on you if you divorce women while yet you have not touched them nor fixed a dowry for them..." (2:236)

Marrying without giving the Mahr is an exception in the case of Nabi-e-Karim (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam). That is to say, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) gave his wives a Mahr, but he also married without giving one. This exception was applicable exclusively to Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam).

Mahr can be given in the form of any object that has commercial value—such as money, jewelry, clothes, furniture, sewing machines, books, or real estate.

In the Qur'an-e-Paak, Allah Ta'ala says:

"Besides these, all other women are lawful for you, that you seek with your wealth as properly married men." (4:24)

Commenting on this verse, Allaamah Abu Bakr AL JASSAAS (Rahimahullah) states that everything considered "maal" (objects with commercial value) can serve as Mahr.

THE MINIMUM RATE OF MAHR

The Mahr has no maximum; however, it does have a minimum. According to Imam Malik (Rahimahullah), the minimum is ¼ dinar or 2½ dirhams. Imam Shafi'i (Rahimahullah) holds that any amount of money may serve as Mahr. Imam Abu Hanifah (Rahimahullah) sets the minimum rate at 10 dirhams. Moreover, a Hadith of Ibn Abu Hakim, reported by Hadhrat Jabir (Radiyallahu anhu), quotes Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) as saying there is no Mahr less than 10 dirhams. Allaamah Hafiz Ibn Hajar confirms that the chain of narration (sanad) for Ibn Abu Hakim's Hadith is correct, and Al-Baghwi declared this Hadith "Hassan." As for the wives and daughters of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam), their Mahr was on the order of 500 dirhams.

THE LEGITIMACY OF NIKAH

Allah Ta'alah as given man the "shahwah" (sexual desire), which naturally attracts him to the opposite sex. This innate capacity exists in every human being, regardless of race, colour, or social and economic status. However, this very "shahwah" has, at times, led to the destruction of human dignity, the overthrow of sovereigns, and unprecedented baseness. For this reason, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said,

"Whoever preserves himself from what is between his two jaws and between his two legs, I guarantee him Paradise (Jannah)."

Scientists explain that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) specifically mentioned the tongue and the genitals because man most frequently commits sins through these means, leading to immorality and social degradation.

It is undeniable that every human being has these desires within him. If one is hungry or thirsty, he has the right to satisfy these needs. Similarly, a person has the right to relieve his sexual desires—but not in a way that disregards the boundaries set by Allah Ta'ala.

It would be unjust ("Zulm") to deny a person the means to satisfy his inherent sexual desires. Islam, being a complete code of life compatible with human nature, has not only instituted Nikah as a lawful means to satisfy this desire, but it also highly recommends it—so much so that Nikah is considered to constitute half of Deen. According to a Hadith of Baihaqi, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"When the servant gets married, he will have completed half of his Deen. Thus, all that remains for him is to fear Allah concerning the other half."

Similarly, another Hadith from Tabrani and the Mustadrak of Al-Hakim, reported by Hadhrat Anas (Radiyallahu anhu), states: that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"He to whom Allah, the Exalted, has granted a pious wife, has been helped in fulfilling half of his Deen; therefore, the only thing that remains for him is to fear Allah for the other half."

Typically, a person deviates from the straight path due to two main reasons: either due to the desires of his belly or his baser instincts. Nikah is a lawful and halal means to satisfy one's desires. In this sense, Nikah constitutes half of Deen because it restrains man from disobeying Allah Ta'ala and prevents him from succumbing to carnal temptations.

Nikah is both essential and in harmony with human nature. Almost all the Prophets (Alaihimus Salaam) got married, as Allah Ta'ala says:

"Verily, We have sent many Rusul before you and We granted them wives and progenies." (13:38)

According to a Hadith of Tirmidhi, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said that four practices are among the principles of the Messengers (Alaihimus Salaam): Haya (modesty/shame), perfume, Miswaak, and Nikah. As for Hadhrat Isa (Alaihis Salaam), he will get married and have children upon his descent, according to a Hadith of Mishkaat.

In a Hadith of Bukhari, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) demonstrated that Nikah is an integral part of his Sunnah and stated that whoever is reluctant to follow his Sunnah is not part of him. According to Tabrani, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"Whoever has the means to marry and does not marry is not part of me."

The importance of practicing Nikah varies according to a person's circumstances. The Fuqaha (jurists) have classified Nikah into five categories:

For someone who is certain that, in the absence of Nikah, he will be easily preyed upon by Zina (adultery), it is Farz (obligatory) for him to marry.
It is Waajib for a person who strongly feels that he will succumb to Zina if he does not marry.
It is Sunnat-e-Mu'akkadah (a confirmed Sunnah) for a person of normal or moderate disposition.
It is Haram for someone who is certain that he will commit injustices toward his wife.
It is Makruh Tahrimi for someone who believes that he will likely be unjust and oppress his wife.

Attraction toward the opposite sex is completely natural, as Allah Ta'ala Himself has implanted it in human nature. Allah Ta'ala says in the Qur'an-e-Karim:

"Beautified for mankind has been made the love of pleasures from women, children, large heaps of gold and silver." (3:14)

It is clear from this verse that desire has been beautified for man. The fact that “woman” is mentioned first indicates that she remains the strongest temptation for man. According to a Hadith of Bukhari and Muslim Sharif, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"I have not left after me any Fitnah more harmful to man than woman."

In another Hadith of Bukhari Sharif, he said:

"I have not found anyone among the short-sighted who can monopolize the mind of an intelligent man more than you (women)."

Islam does not advocate a life devoid of all pleasures. The asceticism (Ruhbaaniyyah) practiced by some communities—which involves the renunciation of pleasures and comforts—is forbidden by the Shari'ah. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) made it clear that asceticism has no place in Islam. Instead, Islam commands us to live in society, enjoying the facilities and pleasures provided, so long as they conform to the Shari'ah.

Once, a group of Sahabah-e-Kiraam (Radiyallahu anhum) approached Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) to inquire about his behavior at home. Upon learning of his practices, they remarked that the amount of Ibaadaat (acts of worship) he performed seemed minimal and claimed that there was no comparison between their conduct and his. They reasoned that if he engaged in fewer acts of worship, it was because Allah Ta'ala had already forgiven his past and future sins. Consequently, one companion decided to fast continuously, while another chose to remain celibate and avoid women. When Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) was informed of this, he said:

"I know Allah better than you, and I fear Allah more than you. Despite this, sometimes I fast and sometimes I abstain; I stand in Salah during the night and I also sleep; and I have relations with my wives. Whoever abandons my Sunnah is not from my community."

This Hadith underscores an important point: completely renouncing all pleasures is not the way of Islam. A true Muslim lives according to Allah’s commandments while also benefiting from the privileges and enjoyments that He has legitimized and permitted. Abandoning all pleasures is not virtuous; an act is only considered Ibaadah when performed in accordance with the Shari'ah. The Shari'ah serves as the criterion of truth—it distinguishes between balance and excess and provides the middle path between the two extremes. It prohibits all forms of abuse and condemns all forms of negligence.

To satisfy human desires, the Shari'ah has established the practice of Nikah. Nikah is the balance between celibacy and immodesty, between immorality and adultery or cohabitation. It is an antidote to Zina (adultery) and immorality, which attract calamities and divine wrath.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"O youth! Let whoever among you who has the means and the ability to get married, for it is a very effective means to lower the gaze and the best preservation of the private parts. Whoever does not have the means, let him adopt the regular practice of fasting (Saum), which will be for him like castration."

The Shari'ah acknowledges that human nature includes tendencies that, if unchecked, can lead to immorality. Rather than advocating for the complete eradication of these desires, it provides Nikah as an effective means to satisfy and control them. The Shari'ah demonstrates that there are two ways to fulfill one’s carnal desires—seeking fulfillment outside of marriage (Nikah) amounts to excess. In Surah Al-Mu'minun, Allah Ta'ala says:

"The believers have truly succeeded. Those who are humble in their Salah, who turn away from futility, who fulfil the act of paying Zakaat and who safeguard their private organs except when it comes to their spouses and the slave women whom they own. They will surely not be blamed about them." (23:1-6)

MARITAL UNION

It is stated in the Qur'an-e-Karim:

"Also among His Aayaat is that He has created spouses for you from yourselves so that you may find solace with her and He has placed love and mercy between you..." (30:21)

The above verse shows us that the purpose of union between couples is moral tranquility and peace. The Shari'ah has not abandoned man in confusion, nor has it left him to seek this peace on his own. The Shari'ah itself has established and recommended the principles to be adopted in order to find this harmony and peace in marital life.

What are the principles of the Shari'ah in this regard? The Shari'ah has recognized and defined the rights and duties of each partner. It has also emphasized the need to fulfill one's duties toward the other by strictly adopting Taqwa, as tranquility and peace reside in respecting the rights of others and in recognizing one's duties toward one's spouse. Therefore, recognizing the principles and rules set out by the Shari'ah is essential for balance in marital relations. It is for this reason that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) taught his Ummah to choose a partner based on piety, Taqwa, and religiosity, and not just on the basis of fame, popularity, or beauty.

The fact that the Qur'an-e-Karim recognizes that the purpose of this union is tranquility, and that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) recommended the choice of a 'Deendaar' (religious) partner, shows us that the indispensable means to maintain this harmony and tranquility is 'Ilm-e-Deen (knowledge of religion) and Deendaari (being pious and religious).

Disputes in a household are often caused by ignorance of one's rights and duties, which sooner or later leads to a breakdown in marital life. For example, one partner may consider something as a right, which the other refuses to admit, or they may think that a certain duty lies with the other, when in fact it is not part of the Shari'ah. Or, one partner may claim a right that the Shari'ah has not conferred upon them. Disputes, discussions, insults, mistrust, and contempt gradually take place, turning married life into something unbearable. It is up to each person to know their rights and duties in marital life so they can better assume their responsibilities without demanding something to which they are not entitled.

For example, it is not the wife's responsibility to serve her in-laws. In Mauritius, the era is over when the wife was required to take care of her husband's younger siblings or, more precisely, her brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law, regardless of their age. In fact, it is not the wife's responsibility to undertake such duties. Demanding such care or imposing such responsibilities on the wife by the husband or in-laws constitutes an injustice (Zulm) and a violation of women's rights. On the other hand, demanding that the husband fulfills extravagant desires, such as buying new clothes too frequently without necessity and simply as per the latest trends, or visiting her family too often, would be an abuse on the part of the wife.

Similarly, the husband has the right, according to the Shari'ah, to practice polygamy. The wife does not have the right to break off her relationship, act badly, or change her attitude because of it; this would be unjust to the husband. This is why it is imperative to learn one's duties and rights because harmony cannot be achieved without the knowledge of the rights and duties of each partner.

Does the knowledge of something automatically mean putting it into practice? The answer is definitely no. Knowledge in itself does not mean putting it into practice automatically. Will is required, and it is this will to submit to the orders of Allah Ta'ala or to the principles of the Shari'ah that we call "Deendaari" (religiosity). Everyone has their own way of thinking or interpreting; ten people will have ten different reasoning, and if each one wants to judge according to their own perspective, we will never succeed in finding a solution to problems.

The best way to achieve harmony is to resort to the Shari'ah with the willingness to abide by its verdicts. If the will to submit to the Shari'ah is present, then all problems can be solved swiftly and to everyone's satisfaction, because the verdict and ruling of the Shari'ah are in the best interest of all, even if they may appear against our wishes or hopes. Our feelings or preferences should not prevail over the Shari'ah; otherwise, we will become slaves to our desires and passions. Prosperity and success are found only in total submission and obedience to Allah Ta'ala. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"None of you can become a true Mu'min until his desires submit to what I have brought."

It is, therefore, necessary to have knowledge of Deen (religion) and a willingness to submit to the orders of the Shari'ah in order to live a peaceful married life, full of harmony and happiness.

HOW THE HUSBAND SHOULD ACT TOWARDS HIS WIFE

Before acting or judging his wife, the husband must first understand that he will have to share his life with a person whom Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) described as "short-minded." In a Hadith, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"Beware of women, for they were created with a rib: the upper part of this rib is more curved. If you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain curved. Therefore, take care of women." (Bukhari/Muslim)

The Hadith does not prohibit the straightening of women but warns that one should not despair if they do not conform exactly to one's expectations; faults will always remain. A husband must act with great wisdom, politeness, kindness, and moderation. If he attempts to "straighten" his wife completely, it may lead to breaking the relationship. According to a Hadith of Muslim, this "breakage" refers to Talaaq (divorce). In other words, trying to reform her forcefully according to one’s own standards may ultimately lead to divorce. Since Talaaq is the opposite of Nikah and contradicts the benefits derived from marriage, it should be avoided at all costs by maintaining patience and self-control, especially considering the delicate and sensitive nature of a woman. A husband must learn to accept certain imperfections in his wife, as the attempt to eradicate them entirely is neither realistic nor achievable.

The relationship between husband and wife is delicate and sensitive. It is a bond with another human being, whom Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) described as "weak,""short-minded," and "extremely sensitive." Maintaining harmony requires wisdom, moral balance, and moderation in one’s character—qualities that women may not always exhibit in the same manner as men. For this very reason, the Shari'ah has not placed the right of Talaaq in the hands of the woman. In His divine wisdom,Allah Ta'alahas entrusted men with the responsibility of leading the household, ensuring stability and structure in the family unit.

"Men have charge over women." (4:34)

Men must therefore conduct themselves in a manner worthy of the high and noble status that Allah Ta'ala has conferred upon them.

A husband must fulfill his responsibilities with wisdom, dignity, and firmness. He should not misuse the authority that Allah Ta'ala has entrusted to him as the head of the family. Additionally, he must have the humility to acknowledge his mistakes and not hesitate to apologize when necessary. Failing to recognize one's faults is a sign of 'Kibr' (arrogance), which is a serious sin. It must be understood that rejecting the truth is an act of arrogance, demonstrating moral imbalance, which disqualifies a person from being a just leader. Such a person becomes a "Zaalim" (oppressor), and under his rule, harmony cannot prevail.

HOW SHOULD A WOMAN BEHAVE?

A woman should firmly understand that it is Allah Ta'ala, the Supreme Creator and the All-Wise, who has decreed that man should be the head of the household. The fact that Allah Ta'ala has established this order demonstrates that the well-being of the family lies in this structure. One should not be misled by the modern slogan of "equality of the sexes" without considering the natural roles and responsibilities assigned by Islam. While Islam has indeed recognized women's rights—unlike the primitive and oppressive attitudes that prevailed before the advent of Islam— when the woman had only duties and no rights, it does not mean that both spouses should have equal authority in decision-making.

Just as a country with numerous responsibilities cannot have two Prime Ministers or two Presidents with equal power, it is impractical to have two leaders with equal authority in a single household. The Shari'ah has given the husband a significant responsibility and a high status within the family.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"If I had to order a person to prostrate before another human being, I would have commanded wives to prostrate before their husbands."

This Hadith provides food for thought for both men and women. It highlights the great rights that a husband has over his wife. However, the husband must remember that this superiority given to him is not without purpose. He cannot demand respect from his wife while failing to behave in a manner that is deserving of it.

In short, the husband should understand that the level of his Imaan (faith) is reflected in how he treats his wife. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said:

"The most perfect among the Mu’min (believers) in Imaan is the one who displays good character and is kind to his wife."

On the other hand, the wife should recognize that obedience to her husband has been regarded by Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) as equivalent to Jihaad and Shahaadah (martyrdom).When aSahaabiyyah (Radiyallahu Anha) inquired about the equivalent of Jihaad and martyrdom for women, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) replied:

"Obedience to the husband and the recognition of the rights of the spouse."

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) also said:

"It is not permissible for a human being to prostrate before another human being. However, if it were permissible, I would have commanded wives to prostrate before their husbands because of the great rights they have over them."

He further stated:

"The best among you is the one who is best to his wife."

[English version of "Le Nikah" – Al Haadi – Vol. 3 No. 2]